"Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst."

Does this phrase even make sense? We hear it all the time. I know I've uttered it more than once. But isn't it impossible? Isn't that phrase a contradiction of terms?

Now I'm no linguistics expert, but it seems like English has the luxury of two different words (which have roughly the same meaning) to make this phrase work. In Portuguese (and probably Spanish) the word "esperar" means both "to expect" and "to hope." So in Portuguese, the phrase would be "Esperando o melhor, mas esperando o pior." Obviously, a direct contradiction.

Perhaps a better word would be "wanting" the best, rather than "hoping." I can wrap my mind around that a little easier. But even then, I think the whole expectation of the worst possible outcome can handicap one's ability to avoid that outcome. Imagine you have a big exam coming up. If your mind is consumed with the expectation of failure, you'll have less mental faculties to devote to your studying, and thus you might perform more poorly.

Defensive Pessimism is what psychologists have come up with to describe the chronically pessimistic. A defensive pessimist always expects the worst, so that if it does happen, then hey no biggie: that's what he/she already expected. On the other hand, if something better than the "worst" happens, then the defensive pessimist may see it as a pleasant surprise. I think there's value to such an approach, but not in every situation.

I think the distinguishing factor that determines when defensive pessimism is appropriate is the degree of control you have over the situation. In the case of the upcoming exam, you are in nearly complete control over how you will fare, depending on how much you study. So in that scenario, I don't think defensive pessimism is helpful. To the extent possible, I think it's best to just put the "outcome" out of your mind altogether and focus on the task at hand--studying. This is one reason my friends in law school rarely found me anxious about exams. In my mind, that anxiety isn't going to help me, so why bother?

Now fast forward a bit: you have just finished taking the exam. There's absolutely nothing more you can do that can affect the outcome. Here, I think, you might have a better argument for indulging in a little bit of pessimism. At this point, there's no personal performance you can handicap. The only thing you can change is your state of mind. If you walk out of the exam thinking "I maybe got an average score," then your mind will be insulated from the disappointment that might ensue if you think you aced it, when in fact your performance was average. On the other hand, if you really did ace it, well then what a pleasant surprise. Everyone likes surprises, right?

That's one clear-cut example. In the case of an exam, it's easy to determine when everything you can do has been done and is in the past. Other situations won't be so clear. That's why it's important to do your best to cover all your bases, and do everything you can, before lowering your expectations (i.e. being pessimistic). I can envision this process introducing a whole new array of obsessive-compulsive thinking for the anxiety-prone, so obviously it shouldn't be taken too far. For instance, in a first-date scenario with a person you're very interested in, during the date you want to make sure that you do all the right things to increase the chances of a second date. After the date is when you can go ahead and not expect there to be a second date (defensive pessimism). However, becoming pessimistic before the date is over will probably lead you to do things that will increase the likelihood of that negative outcome.

In Mormon circles, I've heard the phrase "Work like it's all up to you, and pray like it's all up to God." This is the same idea. Even for people who don't believe in God, they might ascribe the nebulous forces of the unknown to "Fate" or the "Universe."

I admit, it's kind of a cognitive trick you have to play on yourself. But to the extent you can do it successfully, in appropriate situations, it may actually insulate you from some unhappiness in life, and possibly generate happiness you wouldn't have experienced otherwise. Happiness is all about your perspective, anyway.